13【A bad school report 】Ford was born in the year of the horse. He is a third grade student. He likes playing sports but does not like his lessons. His father is forty years old and has a short temper. One day,Ford gets a school report and it's not a good one.Ford knows what will happen if his father sees the report,but he has to ask his father to sign it.At last,he has a good idea. In the evening Ford turns off the lights. The room is very dark,then he gives his father the school report and says,"Can you sign it in the dark,dad?" His father says proudly,"of course I can." Ford gets what he wants.
I took a careful look at my wife one day and said,
2【It is part of the game】Mom is washing plates in the kitchen.Kate and her brother Dave are playing games in the living room.Kate is making a lot of noise.Mom says:"Kate,why do you yell and scream so much? You are going to wake up your grandma. Please play quietly like Dave,see,he doesn't make a sound."Kate says, "Of course he doesn't,mom,it is part of the game, he is daddy coming home late and I am you!"
對我而言，我似乎都不是站在對的事情那一邊。“My wife is a very reasonable woman.
3【the best present 】Ben and Ted are good friends. They always play together. One day,Ted sees a water gun in Ben's hand and he asks:" Who gave you the gun?" "my grandpa," Ben says," and this is the best present I've ever had " "Why? "Ted asks. "When I play with it,I get everything wet, so my mom gives me five dollars for not playing with it " Ben answers .
slept on a sofa bed and
12【A bed time story about birds】It's time for bed.Mary takes off her skirt and puts on her pajamas ,but she isn't sleepy at all.So the little girl asks her mother to tell her a very very long story or she is not going to bed. So her mother begins to tell her a story like this,"There's a very big old house and there's some rice in it. One day,a big bird goes into the house and comes out with a grain of rice,then another bird goes into the house and comes out with a grain of rice ,then a third bird goes into the house and comes out with a grain of rice ,then a fourth bird,then a fifth bird......""Stop,stop,I want to sleep ." Mary shouts.
They really know how to solve an old guy's problems.老女人不偉大嗎？
4【I have his ear in my pocket 】Tim is a naughty boy. He often fights with his classmates at school. One day,Tim comes home with a blood nose. His mother asks," Tim,what happened ""a big kid beat me " Tim answers. His mom is very angry to hear this .She asks,"Would you recognize him when you see him again?"asks his mother."I know him anywhere. " says Tim,"I have his ear in my pocket "
but I'm sleeping with a 63-year-old woman.
11【I'm the driver 】School is over,My sister and I are hurrying home for dinner.We fight a way onto the bus. The bus is really crowded.Just then we see a man trying to get on but nobody gives way to him."Hi,let me get on the bus." The man shouts."It's too crowded,you'd better take the next bus." A passenger says to him."But you can't go without me,I'm the driver." The man answers .
5【my dog doesn't bite】Mike walks into a pet shop and sees a little white dog. He asks the shopkeeper,"Does your dog bite?"The shopkeeper says,"No,My dog doesn't bite.""what a nice dog!"Mike says to himself ,then he bents down and tries to touch the dog. The dog bites him."Ouch!" He cries," You said your dog didn't bite." The shopkeeper replies " That is not my dog."
但我每天晚上可與一位23歲的辣妹睡覺。Now ... I have a $500,000.00 home, a $35,000.00 car,
8【A man with a gun】It's a sunny day.A woman gets off the bus and goes into a butcher shop to buy some meat.A strange man follows her into the shop and stands behind her. Suddenly,the woman screams and the man turns and runs out of the shop. At the same time ,some policemen are passing by and they find a gun in the man's pocket. The man is a robber."Madam,thank you very much,your scream saved me."the butcher said "But how did you know he was a robber ?"the butcher asks. "I didn't know."replied the woman," I screamed because the meat was too expensive."
6【I was not lost】Bob is an old man. He often walks his dog in the street after dinner and comes back home at seven o'clock. One evening a car stops at his house. A policeman helps Bob get out of the car. The policeman says to Bob's wife,"This old man got lost in the street.He asked me to take him home in the car. " After the police leaves ,Bob's wife asks,"Bob, you go to that street every day, how could you get lost?""I was not lost.It was too hot .I just didn't want to go home on foot." Bob answers.
watching a 10-inch black and white TV.我的妻子是一個非常明智講理的女人。
9【Just use a pencil 】Tom is a little boy.He is cute but also very naughty. One evening,he eats a ball point pen.His mom quickly calls the doctor."Excuse me,Doctor,my son ate a ball point pen. Please come to my house at once. " "I am sorry but it's too late.I am already in bed "the doctor refused to help."then what should I do ?"mom says anxiously."Don't worry,mom,you can just use a pencil."Tom says in pain.
It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."現在 ...我有一間 $500,000.00的家，一部 $35,000 .00車，
7【I broke them all】Little Rose is watching TV. Her mother asks,"Rose,what's on TV" "A guy is drinking a glass of Coke through his nose ""Stop watching that stupid thing. Please go to the shop and buy some eggs for me.""Ok,mom""Be careful not to choose any bad ones." After half an hour later ,Rose comes back home with a yellow plastic bag. Her mother takes the bag and looks inside,"what is it ?" She asks."eggs ,of course."Rose says,"I broke them all. Everyone is good.""Are you joking?"Her mother asks.
10【A smart answer 】Mark's father has a farm.It's far away from the city. One day,Mark goes to the farm with his father by car. On the farm,Mark sees many hens.He looks at the hens and a question comes to his mind.He asks his father , "Why are the hens' legs so short,daddy ?" Mark's father smiles and says ."If the hens' legs are long,they will drop their eggs into pieces."Daddy,you are so smart.You know everything!" Mark says.
She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and
1【A Cat's Language】The mother rat and her babies are playing in the garden.A fat cat is coming to catch them for dinner.The mother rat and her babies try to run away, but the baby rats cannot run fast, the fat cat is getting closer and closer. Suddenly, the mother rat stops running and turns around.She shouts at the cat like an angry dog,"woof,woof,woof". The cat is afraid and runs away.The mother rat turns to her babies and says,"Now you see how important it is to learn a foreign language?"
betway必威，sleeping on a sofa bed and
"forty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car,
she would make sure that I would once again be
living in a cheap house, driving a junk car,
watched a 10-inchblack and whiteTV,
Aren't older women great?
a nice big bed and a large screen TV,
After being married for 40 years,
but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.結婚後40年，有一天，我仔細看著我的妻子，說：